


down at the cove

by AmandaBecker



Series: What if? [3]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-01-30 14:57:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21430099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaBecker/pseuds/AmandaBecker
Summary: What if.......that just happened?
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Series: What if? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544161
Comments: 183
Kudos: 239





	1. new treasure

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading..

Charlotte was still barefoot, socks and shoes in one hand as she went further to the cove to collect more beautiful shells. Down at the shore she lied down her belongings, gathered up her dress and went in the cold water again. It was so refreshing and intoxicating at the same time. Ankle-deep she waddled through the water, looking down at the uncertain slippery ground, not to miss any new treasure.  
The cool water now almost went to her knees. How she would like to dip deep in the water and swim around like the men. Shells forgotten she looked to the horizont and than back again to her feet which burried itselfs in the muddy sand beneath her. Her look was turned down until she heard a loud lapping, as if a big fish had surfaced. 

She lifted her gace and suddenly stood in front of him. Mr. Parker. Mr. Sidney Parker. The water went up to his muscular legs. He glittered in the afternoon sun. Only when she really realized that he was naked, she could turn around. What was more difficult in the water than she thought and she almost lost her hold.  
However, she was so embarrassed, she lost all her collected shells. Charlotte sighed deeply. 

„Miss Heywood, do I never get away from you?“

„Oh!“, how could she answer to him, when he was standing fully naked behind her. She told him, he was surely the last person she wanted to see - although he was the only person she wanted to see. Naked or fully clothed. 

He answered with a slight amused voice, she apologised and tried to step out of the water to quick, and almost fell. A strong hand catched her elbow and stadied her. Her face went red and hot, at that idea a naked Sidney was holding her from behind. He helped her out of the water, she closed her eyes at this ashaming situation. Charlotte shaked, not only because of the cool breeze, also of his hot hand on her sleeve.  
Sidney could not took his eyes from her beautiful shaped legs, which she now tried to cover with her skirts. Her feet were smal and a little red from the cold water, her eyes still closed, but he wanted her to open them again. 

„I am.. em, I will go and take my clothes back on, maybe you’ll take yours, so you don’t catch a cold.“  
Charlotte was only able to nod. On wobbling legs she went to the next rock to sit and tried to take on her stockings. Her hands were shaking, cause of this embarresed situation. The idea of him in all his glory, a few foot away, let her cheeks burn even more. She groand and closed her eyes to gather herself and tried again to pull her socks over her wet legs. But her hands were incredible shaking and all the feelings were confounding her.

Suddenly two warm hands lay above hers. She opened her eyes and looked down to him. He was kneeling in front of her, fully clothed again.

„May I?“ he asked without waiting for an answer, tooking the stockings out of her hands, roll it up, took her foot and put it on his thigh. Sidney grazed the sock over her dainty foot, liftet her leg to roll it over her heel, put her foot down in his lap again and roll the stocking over her shin to her knee, there he waited a blink of an eye and looked at her.

Eyes wide in shock, cheek blushing deep she opend her mouth. Sidney couldn’t think. Should he roll it up further, only to see what she would do? Should he left it there and take the other – he didn’t knew. His heart hammering in his chest, their breathing racing. The cold of her hands brought him back to life and she took the material out of his grap. The touch of their fingers was tingling. And her eyes flutter, her breathing stocked. 

Sidney let his hands slipped down her leg and take her foot to push it lightly in her shoe. He forced himself to look down, although he saw in the corner of his eye, her strocking the socking to her thigh and tie it there with the blue ribbon. Sidneys mouth got dry and he has to swallowed hard.  
Tried to focus on his next steps, he took the socking, roll it up in his hand, took her sweet little foot in his lap and pulled on her stocking, like he had did before on the other side. Again he stopped on her knee, and her shaking cold fingers brushed his, as she tried to take the material from him. But this time he catched her fingers, took one more breath and looked up into her big brown eyes. 

Without words, he told her: let me. And her fingers stilled. Not looking away, he rolled her stocking up. Slowly. Very slowly. Charlottes breath was hitching, her breasts lifted quickly, maybe a little to quickly but he didn’t stop. He took his time to smooth out the material on her thigh. Then he brooke the eye contact and tied the ribbon. He strocke over the silky material, before he let his hands slidded down her leg, to take the foot in his hands, strock with his thumb over her instep. Slowly.  
Her hole body was trembling and shaking now. Charlotte was cold and warmth everywhere. It tingled and tickled everywhere he touched and her stomach flipped around. She coldn’t move, she only starred at him in disbelive and awe. 

Sidney looked up to her face again, a sweet little smile tucked on his lips. His hands reached out for the hem of her dress, she didn’t know she was holding. Sidney withdrew it from her hold and smoothed it over her legs. Again very slowly, so as if he couldn’t help himself. As it was finished he let his eyes grazed of her once again.

They looked at each other in silence for a few more seconds, than he cleared his throat, stood up, straghtened his jacket and hold out his hand for her. Hesiated she took it and he pulled her up. They were very close, and Sidney had to force himself not to kiss her. No words were spoken till they were back at Trafalger House.

„Always my pleasure to help you, Miss Heywood.“ With this he bowed and left her overwhelmed with feelings standing in front of the door.


	2. unknown tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the encounter at the cove, Charlotte and Sidney have to understand what has happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now the sequel of this story...
> 
> I hope it shows the mood in which they are

Charlotte immediately ran up the stairs to her room, which she didn't leave all evening.  
When the maid came to tell her that dinner was ready, Charlotte asked her to excuse her to the Parkers.  
She had a headache and didn't feel well. Kindly her was brought something to eat and drink, but Charlotte wasn't able to get anything down.

What had happened? That could only have been a dream. A shocking dream!  
Seeing Sidney Parker naked was shocking enough. Although it also caused a different feeling, which she couldn't relate to...  
But that he, as naked as he was, stood behind her and held her arm! What a feeling it was.  
So forbidden and yet so... exciting and alive. Charlotte had never felt so alive as she did at that moment.

Oh, God!  
She could almost not finish thinking the thought, it was so shocking...  
His hands on her bare skin. And this feeling, these large, warm and yet somewhat rough hands on the untouched skin of her thighs.  
This tickling feeling where he had touched her and yet this...almost painful peng! in regions of her body she had never known before.  
At least not in this forbidden way. It had been dangerous. If someone had come by!

Either she would already be on a carriage in the direction of Willingden or, or... in the church to marry Sidney Parker.  
Why did her heart beat so fast at the thought?  
Charlotte touched her face with her still cold hands and her cheeks glowed. Her whole body was glowing.  
Suddenly her clothes were all hot, much too hot. And too tight, everything was so tight. She could barely breathe.  
Stood up so quickly that she almost tipped over the front. The buttons of her spencer were barely open when she opened the buttons of her dress.  
Literally ripping her clothes off until she was only standing there in her stockings and her chemise.

It was still too hot. But she couldn't bring herself to take off her stockings. His stockings. They weren't his, of course, but he had put them on her and that was so, that was so...so. Charlotte would have loved to scream because she couldn't find words for what she felt. 

Just the thought of his hands stroking the delicate fabric. The silky blue bow, which he had so lost in thought bound and then lovingly caressed.  
Did he notice what he was doing? Did he know that he had accidentally touched her skin? What had he thought?  
How could she ever come under his eyes again if he had noticed what he had caused in her?  
Although she trembled and a cold shiver ran through her body, she was still glowing.  
She had the feeling of standing next to a hot fire, slowly scorching her skin.

Slowly she went to the window and pressed her face against the cool pane.  
She pressed her whole upper body against the cool glas and the burning of her skin eased a little, even though the pulling pain in her breasts increased.  
Her breath went fast and clouded her view of the road. Yet she recognized his shape. She would have recognized it everywhere.  
He stood in front of the hotel. Smoke swirled around his head. With his back turned to her gaze, she could not see his face, but his whole body seemed tense.  
Stepping from one leg to the other, his hand repeatedly moving through the hair. And as soon as he seemed to finish the cigarrette, the smoke from the a new one began to swirl around him.

What was he thinking? Sidney asked himself when he lit up another cigarrette. He couldn't believe what had happened.  
It seemed so unrealistic and yet he could still feel her warm soft skin under his fingertips.  
Did she know it was difficult for him? Difficult to hold back? She was so innocent and naive, sweet and completely unaware.

Unaware of what she caused in him with her...just her. With her sensual body.  
He had never felt so much the need to touch a woman.  
Her thighs, so sweet and white and ..... ahh he would have too gladly put his face on the tender skin.  
And a thousand kisses pressed on it, where the ribbon held her stocking.

Just the thought of it caused this heat in him again.  
Headaches pounded behind his eyes, he closed them, but then the pictures of her flooded his mind.  
Fogged his perception. 

Her eyes widened in shock. The rosy lips slightly opened, ready to be kissed.  
The thin arm as he helped her out of the water in support. The heat that emanated from her. Her scent. Oh!  
Oh, this scent of citrus and seabreeze and ....her very own scent.  
Maybe he had only imagined it, but it seemed to become stronger the closer he came to her.  
Her little reddened feet, with the pronounced instep.  
How he would have loved to kiss this tender piece of skin! Where the back of the foot ends and the ankle begins.  
Did she notice that he hesitated for a moment?  
Fortunately Sidney was able to control his feelings and desires well, but he couldn't help stroking his thumb slowly over the spot.

And that smooth blue ribbon. Hardly any difference to her warmer skin.  
And yet, how he would love to rip open this blue band with his teeth and strip her stocking off again!  
No matter how much he tried to hold himself back and shake off his thoughts, he couldn't.  
His mind went to that delicate leg, it was wrapped around his body bare and warm....

"Parker! it was Crow.  
"Come man! We already ordered the second bottle."

Maybe it was a good idea to drown his mind in alcohol, otherwise he really didn't know how to survive the night.  
Trying to avoid it, but his body seemed to do exactly the opposite.  
And before he really understood what he was doing, he turned around and looked up at her window. 

Oh Lord in heaven!  
There she stood, pressed to the window, her eyes closed.  
But Sidney could see, despite the distance, that she was only wearing her chemise.  
How would he ever get that picture out of his head again?

Perhaps he would need more than one bottle of whiskey.


	3. images

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney have a lot in mind....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here one to´f two new chapters for this little What if...

When Sidney barged through the door of Trafalger House, he ran straight into Tom's study. He was still drunk. But he has to tell him that his friends were leaving. Tom wasn’t there, but Miss Heywood. Sure she was there to see him in this state. 

She looked up at him with her doe eyes and blushed incredibly. Like a very young woman. He starred back at her, and suddenly the image of her, he had tried to get out of his head the damn whole night, was there again. Only her thin chemise separated her breasts from the cold glass of her window to which she pressed herself. 

The image was branded in his mind. Eyes closed, lips slightly parted. Did she have put of "his"....stockings? Not his, of course, hers, but the ones he'd put on her? He would have loved to see her doing it. Her blushing, her gasping breath...  
Oh, no, no, no, no, no... He really didn't want to end up like that again...

After all, that was Miss Heywood!

An innocent, honorable young lady. She did not deserve to be the object of his dishonorable thoughts. But he could not help himself. Their encounter yesterday down at the cove had thrown him completely off course. He wanted to touch her again. He could still feel her soft warm skin under his fingertips. Her trembling was so strong that she literally vibrated. His mouth get dry, as she licked absently her lower lip. Oh, how desperatly he wanted to kiss her!

Sidney and Charlotte were both relieved and annoyed when Tom stormed into the room. 

„Sidney, Charlotte! Good to see you both together, great great.“  
„I was just leaving“ both said at the same time and then looked at each other somewhat confused. Charlotte tried to leave the room, but Tom hold her back.

With his everlasting good mood, which Sidney normally admired, but found only annoying at the moment Tom pursuaded them to stay and took a look over the new planes.

First they stood as far apart as possible. But after Tom had gone back and forth excitedly and brought in other plans, they suddenly stood next to each other. Her shoulder touched his arm. Charlotte could smell the smoke of cigars and whiskey. And also something fresh, like peppermint. And something else, something she had already perceived yesterday when he was standing naked behind her. Oh, no! Now her thoughts wander back to his body! The body of a Greek god. Surrounded by water. His warm big hands on hers. His fingers...

„Charlotte?“ Tom asked, and she looked nervously to him and smiled. She hadn't realized what Tom wanted from her, but she noticed Sidney beside her stiffening a bit. Looking up to him, was a mistake. She knew it in this very moment. His teeth were clenched, chin twitched. She really would love to crawl through his stubble with her fingers.

„What?“ she asked hesitantly, with a rough voice.  
Sidney looked down to her. He seemed...angry. Yes he was angry with her. But why he was angry with her? Why? 

„You seemed a little distracted Charlotte, are you alright?“ Tom asked.   
She blushed even more, as she felt Sidneys eyes on her. Her heartbeat was fast, her fingers trembling.  
„I am not...“ she told him, slightly smiling.  
„Never mind Charlotte! Everyone has a bad night, sometimes. I caught you wandering around the house last night.“  
„I was just...I was just..“ she couldn’t tell the men why she wandered around. It was because she wished Mr. Parker, Mr. Sidney Parker would come home. But instead she said  
„I was just hungry, and eat some smal meal in the kitchen.“  
„of course.“ Tom said, „after you didn’t eat as you went home from your walk.“

Sidney suddenly coughed.  
What was he thinking? Of course it would cost her sleep. She had most likely never been touched before! He was surely the first one, who had touched this delicate skin of her thights. A thrill run through him. 

„Yes, erm, are we done? Good, I guess I have to....go.“ She didn’t wait for an answer and literally ran out of the room. Sidney couldn’t say anything, just shrugged and starred at Tom.

„Hmm, odd,“ Tom explained, „she's been like this since last night...she didn’t eat, was up half the night and wandering around the house. Maybe she's getting sick.“

After Sidney told Tom, his friends had to leave, he briefly thought about leaving too. But he had to apologise to Miss Heywood for his behaviour yesterday. Though he didn't know exactly how to do that.

The rest of the day they constantly ran into each other. He was just leaving Georgianas room, when he ran right into Miss Heywood. Although it was the briefest of moments, he registered quite a lot about her. 

Smelling like oranges today, her hair was shiny and soft, he would have liked to touch it.  
Since she was so much smaller, her bosom pressed into his chest for a short second, and he almost had his right arm around her, but could still control himself. Why he then talked to her in a reproachful tone, he could not explain himself. He looked into her pale, confused face, hesitating to say anything to him and avoiding eye contact made him simply leave her standing and leave the house directly.

Later, when Mary called them both to dinner and they sat opposite each other, the tension was almost unbearable. Even the children seemed to notice something because they were nervous and tiring. Charlotte herself was agitated, wasn't listening properly, was distracted and so eager to avoid his gaze. 

Tom talked and once again he didn't notice anything of his surroundings. Sidney with straight back, every muscle was tense, could hardly turn his gaze away from Charlotte. Which in turn drew Mary's attention. She looked back and forth between them. But Charlotte just stared at her plate, pushed the food back and forth, and when she was asked something, she clung to her glass and drank in small strokes to gain time. Most of the time, she got away with it. When Mary got up to put the children to bed, she immediately offered to do it instead of her, and as soon as she said it, she was out of the room with the children.

She didn't come into the drawing room that evening.


	4. thinking of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thinking of each other....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small one...

Charlotte could not sleep that night either.

Once again, Mr. Sidney Parker was to blame. No sooner did she close her eyes than she saw him there. How he kneels in front of her, rolls the stockings over her leg, ties the band and touches it lovingly. Each time she feels his fingers back on her skin, it burns and a strange warm feeling spreads through her body. Even in places where neither he nor anyone else had ever touched her. And she wished he would. Touch her again like he had. But her mind added this other places where she would like to be touched by him. It was shocking! 

Her body reacted again with that weird heat, everything was too tight and too hot again. She would have loved to leave the house immediately and jump into the floods.

Throwing herself around in bed, she got up and walked back to the window. Again she pressed her heated body against it, to cool it down. It tickles. It hurt in a peculiar way, but it wasn't painful.

It was so confusing. What could she do? She wants to ask someone how she can get rid of these feelings. Maybe she'd get sick after all. She felt sick. Feverish. Her stomach was making strange movements. It contracted every time she heard Mr. Sidney's voice. When his gaze bored into her eyes, her body began to react. It reacted exactly as it did right now. 

Charlotte was ashamed.

Not only for the images that crept into her head. But for wishing it were his hands and not hers, slowly moving over her arms to her shoulders, hesitantly and lightly stroking the collar of her nightgown. She wrapped her arms around herself and wished they were his, embracing her from behind and pressing her against his strong body. Oh, what was he doing to her! And every time he looked at her like he was angry. She hadn't done anything, it was him! She didn't ask him to put her stockings on her. 

She knew, she had to talk to him. What an embarrassing moment this would be!

The next day, she tried to be strong and really sought his closeness. But then she was so shy, she couldn't get a word out. She couldn't even look at him, turning on her heels and literally fled from him.

Sidney knew he had to do something. Charlotte didn't seem to be herself anymore at all. She stood there in front of him, with her big eyes, seemed to want to say something, but then her courage broke and she literally ran away. It was all very frustrating. Last night he had gone for a walk to calm his nerves and his heart. He wanted to get those pictures of her by the bay and her window out of his head.

But of course she was like him. It had to be that way. Because when he came back from his walk and his gaze wandered to her window as if by magic, she stood there. Again, her face and torso were pressed against the window. This time she were embracing herself. Her eyes were closed and the expression on her face seemed to be painful.

He had to get her alone and try to talk to her. Explain it to her. Apologize. With that thought, he didn't go back to the hotel, he went straight to Trafalgar House. Maybe she'd come down.

But she didn’t.

The whole next day he didn't even get to see her. It wasn't until the evening when he came into the drawing room with Tom from the study.

She had apparently just made herself comfortable on the sofa to read. Mary sat on the armchair and was absorbed in her embroidery. Charlotte looked at him briefly and blushed immediately. 

Tom cackled at him, but Sidney was so absorbed in watching Charlotte, that he didn't really hear what his brother said. She was pale and she looked thinner. Her cheeks were flushed. Chest rose and fell relatively quickly for someone who seemed to be sitting on a sofa, relaxed and pretending to read. He knew she was faking because she didn't turn a page or move her eyes. He thought she was bound to disappear into her room in the next few minutes.

Sidney was surprised when Mary suddenly got up and asked Tom asked to accompany her upstairs. Tom, always able to have a bad conscience towards his wife, was quickly convinced. Both said goodbye. And it was the first time Charlotte raised her head.

Biting her lower lip, her hands clenched in fists, she seemed to think about what to do now. Nervously, she slid back and forth in her seat. Their eyes met for a brief moment. But she lowered her gaze again immediately.

The silence streched out and he asked Charlotte with his softest voice,  
„Miss Heywood,“  
„Mr. Parker?“ she didn’t look up.  
„This evening,...how often did you read the same page of this book?“ She looked caught, big eyes fixed on a spot behind his head, licking her dry lips she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and said in all honest „I didn’t read it once.“

„Why is that?“ his voice a deep vibration through her body. Looking on her book again she said blushing,  
„You’re distracting me.“  
He huffed a laugh.

„Well I can assure you, Miss Heywood. You are distracting me too. I didn’t either know what Tom told me, neither I know what I agree to.“ Charlotte smirked, but wasn’t able to answer that.

He came over to her. Shyly, she looked up at him as he reached out for her. Hesitantly, she placed her hand in his warmth. Immediately memories of the day at the cove washed over her.  
Sidney pulled her up. They stood close enough to touch not only their hands. She trembled. Tugging her closer, he led her out of the room, up the stairs, in front of her room. At the door, he leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, 

"I guess we need to talk."


	5. blowing in the wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this night is different....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here we go again.

Another night without sleep. Sidney stared at the ceiling in his hotel room, unable to close his eyes. When he did, she stood before him again, in the partial shade of the corridor. Her warmth and the scent of her hair still lingered on him. Her big dark eyes hidden under her eyelashes. He could feel her quick breath on his face as he leaned closer to her. Uncertain whether he should kiss her, he waited a moment too long and she had disappeared. Tomorrow morning he would try to talk to her. In bright daylight the subject would not lurk over them as heavily as this night.

Frustrated, he got up and went to the window. He opened it a little further to let in more of the cold, fresh night air. It cooled his heated skin as he unbuttoned his shirt further. The heat that this little person inside him sparked was almost unbearable. The feelings that blazed inside him were not only physical, he knew that. She touched him, in such a deep way that it frightened him. 

He sucked in the fresh sea air deeply and calmed his beating heart with slow well-considered breaths. When he stupidly closed his eyes, images of her chased his thoughts again. Not only those of the last days, but also those before that. That dress at the ball. Her face as they talked on the balcony. Those eyes, warm and gentle.

"Oh, boy." he said to himself and shook his head. 

As he raised his eyes, a light flickered in Trafalgar house. It was her room, he knew it was. Seized by a longing, he leaned further forward to see better, the angle was not so optimal, but he would be able to see her when she came back to her room and to the window after her nightly walk through the house. It did not take long. For a moment he could see the yellow-golden light of a candle before the room sank back into darkness.

Sidney's heart was beating faster and faster in his chest, the heat that he had desperately tried to escape was now rising up his spine again and crawling across his chest. It spread through his stomach. Seized by a restlessness, he stared towards her window and waited for her to appear. Slowly a disappointment began to spread in him that he had not thought possible. But before he could turn away and go back to bed, she appeared at the window as expected. She pressed her face and upper body against the window pane. Like the nights before.

Oh, God, he could see from here how desperate she looked. He recognized this little furrow between her eyebrows. She was probably frustrated. Her body was freaking out, of this unknown feelings.  
Protectively, he tore himself away from the sight of her and looked around, not that anyone else could see her like that. But the street remained silent, not a soul was awake at this nightly hour. 

Suddenly he heard a soft squeaking and he lifted his eyes to her again. She had opened the window and was now standing like him in the wind that now freshened. Her eyes closed, her hair was blowing around her face. He could feel on his own body what the cool air was doing and couldn't think of anything else but that her breasts were only protected by her thin underdress, exposed to the wind. His mouth became very dry, he stared over at her. He didn't know exactly what he had expected, but he was stunned by her sight.

Charlotte pulled the neckline of her undergarment forward to be able to see into her neckline better. As she turned her face towards the wind again, she made a small frustrated sound. Now she had finally managed to stop thinking about him for a few seconds when the wind touched her skin. Her body longing for his hands to caresse her again.

No, no, no! she scolded. It was not a caress. He had only put her stockings on, he hadn't touched her since that day down at the cove.  
Frustrated, she stamped her foot like a little child and let her head sink into the neck. It had to stop! 

When he had accompanied her to her room before, she had really imagined he was going to kiss her! How stupid she was. She shook her head over herself. Of course, he didn't mean anything of the sort. And it wasn't because it was at his brother's house and late at night. It was simply because the whole thing was a...fun game for him and he was making fun of her. Yeah, that is it. 

Charlotte decided not to think about it anymore and to avoid Mr. Sidney Parker. For ever. 

She believed that if she avoided him more than she had tried before, these confusing feelings would subside and eventually stop altogether. He felt nothing for her, even though he had previously claimed he did. That could not be. She took a few deep breaths and opened her eyes. Her gaze wandered from the stars above her over the roofs of the adjacent houses, down to where the sea softly rushed, although she couldn't see anything, of course. Something white caught her attention and she let her eyes wander in that direction.

Their eyes locked. Although they were so far apart, they suddenly seemed to be as close as they had been before at her door. His staring gaze immediately ignited the burning sensation in her body that she had tried to get rid of. Her body reacted in a way it usually reacted only to the thought of him. A pull deep inside, the tingling in her stomach that spread all over her body. 

She seemed like a supernatural being. The way she stood there silently and calmly in the wind. Her eyes fixed on him as if she could look straight into his heart despite the distance. She grabbed her neck with one hand, as if she was having trouble breathing. Her other hand clawed into the fabric of her nightgown on her belly. Her lips were slightly open, as if she was speaking to him. And although he couldn't understand her words of course, her voice filled his senses. She penetrated him. If they weren't separated by houses and walls he would grab her now and kiss her so fiercly that he would be afraid to hurt her. His hands clenched in fists and his breath went faster. Despite the cold breeze, Sidney's whole body was on fire.

His shirt, now completely torn open by the wind, fluttered around him and stroked his sensitive body. In his head it was her fingers that slowly stroked his skin. Thank God, she could not see the extent of these thoughts! Although only his upper body was visible to her, he still felt exposed and shame overcame him. How could this incredible creature, sweet and charming, stubborn and frustrating, have such a power over him? How was this possible? 

As her hand slowly and naturally moved across the exposed skin of her décolleté, her hand was caught on the collar of her nightshirt. Sidney had to swallow and his hand did almost the same. First it lay on his chest and then it moved to his heart. There it remained lying and he hoped she could see what it meant. He felt so close to her that tears came to his eyes, he was glad she could not see it.  
Charlotte did the same and put her right hand on her trembling heart. It seemed to Sidney as if she was caressing herself and he couldn't stand it any longer. He'd burst at any moment. He sucked in air and waited. 

The wind howled between the houses and something cracked at the construction site. And although it interrupted the spell, they were both happy about it. Charlotte embarrassed and suddenly shy again and aware of her sparse clothing, she locked the window without another glance at him.

Sidney exhaled, apparently unconsciously holding his breath. He too closed the window and fell onto his bed. He closed his eyes and welcomed the pictures of her. Floating completely in the feeling that it were her fingers caressing his chest, he let his hands wander up and down.


	6. business talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is a important business talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, but I hope I can make it up to you with that...

Charlotte was glad to be able to distract herself by all the work Tom had left her. She sat at his desk sorting bills and reminders, receipts of payments, letters from lawyers and banks. He had certainly not looked at any of this for weeks. When Mary walked into the room, Charlotte didn't notice her until she was standing right in front of her.  
Amused, she said that Charlotte needed a break and should take a short walk to the beach with her and the children. Charlotte was happy for the fresh air and was happy to come along. As they passed the hotel, she looked up to his window and then to the door, not that he would run into her now, she really couldn't stand that. Perhaps she could ask Mary what all this was about. She looked at her friend, opened her mouth to speak, but immediately decided against it. She could only tell Mary if she told her everything. Anything at all, and she knew it would only cause problems. Instead, she took a deep breath and walked with the kids to the beach.

After about an hour in the fresh air, the children were quiet enough to sit in their schoolroom and Charlotte had new energy to continue her work. The ladies said goodbye and Charlotte continued to rummage through the papers.

Today Sidney was in a terrible mood. He didn't know exactly what was wrong with him. Rested and in a good mood, he had awakened. Knowing that Charlotte had visited him in his dreams, he had even smiled, until he came to Trafalgar House less than an hour ago and found only Tom. The talk of new ideas and investors bored him, Tom, of course, noticed nothing of it and stopped only briefly when Mary came into the dining room and greeted both men who had spread out countless papers on the table.

"Tom, you really ought to pay Charlotte something for all the work she's done."  
Sidney's heart leapt when he heard her name.  
"But my dear, it was her idea, as long as she's here, she's working as my assistant..."  
"Tom!" cried his wife, "she is our guest and does not have to pay for it with work! This morning she was so engrossed in work, I hardly found her under all that paper."  
Mary shook her head and then said to Sidney, laughing,  
"Maybe you can make sure she gets something for her work."

Why Sidney now felt somehow caught by his sister-in-law he couldn't say, he nodded silently to her and sat down at the table with Tom again. He studied his brother for a moment before asking him how it had come about.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, how come you let Char...erm... Miss Heywood to do your paperwork?"  
"Well, I showed her the model and she said she's helping her father and she'd like to help if she could."  
"You've got to show her some appreciation." why Sidney's face suddenly twitched, as if it were deforming into a smile, Tom noticed just as little as the soft tone Sidney suddenly had in his voice.  
"Yes, I know nothing about that. Mary should buy her something."  
"Tom.“  
"Well, or you, next time you're in London." His heart danced with joy, that was the permission he needed to buy her a gift. Oh, that was wonderful!

„Now we can talk about the new......“  
„Mr. Parker?“

There she stood. In one of her enchanting white dresses, which emphasized her youth and unspoiled nature all the more, and Sidney immediately felt dirty and unworthy of her. Her eyes were big and round from shock or amazement, her lips slightly open.

"Ah, Charlotte, come here!" cried Tom and pointed to the table. She glanced briefly at Sidney, blushed, and then said hesitantly to Tom,  
"I didn't mean to interrupt."  
"You're not interrupting, Sidney and I were just discussing the new designs... check it out." 

Tom pulled a chair from the table and let her sit down, opposite his brother. Sidney noticed that Charlotte did not listen to Tom, she did not ask anything and did not deepen his thoughts with further ideas. She seemed distracted and agitated, just as he felt himself. Although his mood suddenly improved as she entered the room. He had to talk to her, he had to say something.

"Are you all right, Miss Heywood?"  
She looked up at him, blushed and immediately lowered her eyes again.  
"Yes, of course." Her hand was shaking. Her breasts, now unfortunately hidden under too much fabric, rose and fell quickly, as if she had just run a long distance.  
"It doesn't look like it." Worried, he looked at her, but she avoided looking at him.

"Sidney's right, you came in here... What is it, my dear?"  
With a long breath and a somewhat embarrassed smile, she seemed happy for the distraction and tried to explain things.  
"I noticed something, and I," she looked at Sidney briefly, "don't know if I can say it."  
"Of course, I have no secrets from Sidney. After all, he is one of the partners!"  
"Yes, well..." she clears her throat and then spreads the papers in front of her,  
"I have found bills and several insurance reminders, but not a single receipt for the payments and I thought..." she looked at Sidney, then at Tom "I thought it was important, because if something happens and the houses are not insured..."  
"What?" Sidney looked surprised and a little panicked and slowly got up from the table.  
He gave Tom a questioning look, and Tom looked nervous and tried to make excuses.  
"I'll check right away, right away," and with that, he disappeared from the room.  
An embarrassing silence spread between the two.

"Charlotte," Sidney said softly and shocked to hear her name on his lips in such an intimate tone, making her blush and look up at him shyly.  
"I... I must go."  
She gathered up the papers and put them in the notebook. She knocked on it and was about to get up when Sidney put his warm hand on hers and stopped her.  
"Please stay," he begged, his hand still on hers.  
"We must talk."

Charlotte lifted her chin up, but could not lift her gaze from her united hands and asked with a distant tone,  
"About what?“  
"You know about what." Shaking her head, she lowered her head, but Sidney left his hand where it was and asked her in the sweetest voice,  
"look at me."

That voice only made things worse. Her breath went jerkily, but she tried not to pull her hand away as she slowly raised her gaze. The look of his intense eyes almost made her whimper, but she could control herself.  
"How are you?" His gaze demanded honesty.  
"Not so...good."  
"Why?"  
"I feel... odd." she looked at her hands again. 

The thought that maybe she didn't like his touch hit Sidney like a fist in the stomach and yet he couldn't help himself and let his hand slide off her tender one very slowly. ...until only her fingertips were left together. This leave her gasping for breath in silence. Sidney waited to see if she would pull her hand back, but when she didn't, he very carefully put his index finger on hers. She inhaled audibly. Slowly, oh so damn slowly, he let his finger glide lightly over her narrow one, down to the first knuckle. Then to the second. Then to the third. There he painted feather-light little circles.

"Feverish?"  
She nodded and bite her lip.  
"Your heart pounds wildly when... you think of me?" she could do nothing but nod. It was small, but he had noticed. 

Charlotte blushed even more, but could only stare at their hands. She couldn't believe what that little touch could do to her. He stroked back to the tip of her finger and then began his caressing again. Now each of his fingers touched one of hers and although nothing else happened, it was so overwhelming that she could hardly breathe. His fingers seemed so gentle and light, although they were so long and large. 

Of course, she thought of the places his hands had touched down at the cove, and her breath stopped. The tickling started again. His breath was as heavy as hers, and he whispered her name so softly that she almost didn't hear it. At last she looked into his eyes and the heat flooded through her. Her lips opened and she could only stare at him. 

"It's the same with me."

A new sensation flooded through her as he slowly moved one finger between her index and middle finger during these words. Only to the second knuckle, then back again. Light as a feather and gentle. Back and forth again. Back and forth. Until suddenly he pressed into the delicate fold between the two fingers, causing a flash of lightning to burn into her. She gasped for breath.

"It’s all right," he reassured her and turned her hand. 

It was so intimate as he continued stroking her. Her heartbeat accelerated more and more. Fingertip to fingertip. Slowly Sidney let his fingers slide onto hers, then his palm, and it was as if he was touching her whole body. He let his finger rest on her pulse and absorbed the certainty that her heart was beating in unison with his. Charlotte closed her eyes overwhelmed, not knowing why, but suddenly tears came to her eyes.

"What...I..." she began, but could not speak any further as she slowly opened her eyes again and looked at him.

"I wanted to say something about our meeting down at cove..."  
"It was..." she looked away and blushed deeper.  
"Yes, and I can't stop thinking about you either." He smiled.

Caught, she looked at him.  
"But I..." she tried to defend herself, but Sidney wouldn't say anything.  
"I know."  
"I know nothing."

"Then let me show you."


	7. questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte's head is full of questions, Sidney has questions, too...and a few are answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you have a nice day...

She stared at him with big eyes. What does he mean, what was he showing her? Slowly she understood his words as his finger moved tenderly up her arm. He leaned further over the table, but only reached the crook of her arm. There he gently twisted her it, so that her palm was back on the folder in front of her. As light as butterfly wings his fingers flew over her warm skin. She would never have thought that her forearm was sensitive. It was... it was tingling... she had no words.

"You have questions." That was an observation.  
Charlotte could only nod to be overwhelmed by the feelings swirling around her body.   
"me too." he breathed. Her eyes flickered toward him and her lips opened slightly. He smiled this magical crooked smile and she was glad she was sitting.

"How does it feel?" He just stroked the back of her hand again.  
"Hmmm?" She needed time, she had no words for what he was doing. Sidney moistened his lips, and though he feared her answer, he dared to ask the most important question there was.  
"Should I stop?"  
Already completely fogged by the feeling of his hands on her and not being able to formulate a clear sentence, she shook her head only slightly.

"Do you like it?" Her breath quickened and the blush deepened in her cheeks.  
"...when I touch you."  
Her breathing stopped for a moment. He didn't really ask that, did he? What was she supposed to answer? She longed for his touch and dreamt every night of his hands on her body. But she could not tell him that.

"I like it," he whispered and he increased the pressure of his fingers slightly, that immediately gave a completely different feeling, which flowed through her arm into her whole body.   
"Honestly," he smiled sheepishly and then lowered his eyes, because talking about it was something completely different than just feeling it.  
"I love touching your skin." Their eyes met. "To caress you."   
Insecurity cast a shadow on his face, but he kept talking.

"I wish I could...“ Charlotte sucked in the air.  
"I haven't wanted to do anything else since the cove."   
Her lips opened, but only her breath came out in bursts.  
"and now that I've been so honest, can you answer any of my questions?"  
She nodded tentatively.  
"Do you like it?" he now stroked her knuckles, back and forth as he specified his question.  
"...when I touch you?" Charlotte nodded almost imperceptibly.  
"How does it feel?"  
And he pressed the place between the index and middle finger again. An exciting feeling sloshed through her body and tingling in very private places. She really couldn't tell him that and lowered her eyes.  
"...w..warm." she whispered, that's all she was capable of.  
"Then I'll cool you down."

He then bent over their united hands and blew gently on them. Charlotte became more and more aware of what he was doing. The tiny hairs on her arm stood up and moved across her arm, up to her shoulder and up over her neck. Just as she was about to give herself over completely to this new feeling, Tom came back. Charlotte could not find the strength to pull her hand away, she was slightly dizzy.

"Sidney!" cried Tom from the door and Sidney pulled his hand away and laid it in his lap. The loss of her warmth was almost unbearable.   
"we have a problem!“  
’Yeah, me too,’ Sidney thought, but said nothing. He forced his gaze away from Charlotte's flushed face and stared at his brother.  
"what?" he asked breathlessly.  
"I erm...seem to have...forgotten..."  
„What?“ Sidney still had a thin voice, he was breathing heavily, oh what an effect she had on him, but he had done nothing... well, almost nothing.

Tom talked, but Sidney didn't really listen. He stared at Charlotte who now touched the hand in front of her with her other one and then pressed it to her heart. 

"What do you want me to do, Sidney?" cried Tom and only then did it dawn on Sidney to answer his brother.  
"Go to London."  
"Yes, yes, that's a good idea."  
Sidney couldn't stop looking at Charlotte again and again, he had to close his eyes to be able to turn his gaze away from her again.  
"Will you join me?" Tom asked and Sidney shook his head as Charlotte looked up at him.  
"No, I can't." Sidney said, turning more toward Charlotte than toward his brother.  
"But why..."  
"I have things to do here." 

When she realized the real meaning of his words, her heart was beating so wildly that she was sure he could hear it. He did not, but of course he saw how quickly her chest rose and fell. The good person in him was glad that she was wearing a relatively high-necked dress. The less good one, wanted to tear that off her as well.

Glad that Mary came into the room with the children and distracted him from Charlotte, Sidney saw the children who talked him into playing with them. He would have loved to, but for the best he couldn't stand up. For at least ten minutes.

"I'll come over to you later," he said in an apologizing tone, and then looked at Charlotte again, which almost made him forget the rest of his sentence.   
"...erm...your father and I have something to discuss..."  
Since the children seemed disappointed and Charlotte suddenly wanted to escape this room full of tension to get her thoughts in order, she offered herself and got up immediately. Only at the door she turned and looked at Sidney over her shoulder.

And if the look hadn't finished him off already, her slight smile would have done it. Her eyes glittered and this smile had almost something seductive about it, although he was sure she had no idea. In order to stabilise, he closed his eyes and swallowed twice. And when he looked again, she had disappeared.

"So Sindey, we have to..."

When Charlotte had played with the children and later was alone on the beach, she finally had the feeling that she could think clearly again. She came to the conclusion that Mr. Sidney Parker should go to London with his brother, so that this...this... ...thing came to an end. It wasn't right, what he had done, how she felt for him, how her body reacted. If someone had caught her doing it! She had to tell him.

With firm step she went back to Trafalgar house and tried to track him down. But as soon as she thought of him, the feeling ransacked her body again. It was ... to go mad. She couldn't even see him, and yet he did something to her. She looked from the door into the room and at the sight of the children who were looking at a book together, she had to smile.

Suddenly she became warm. She felt him behind her, although she had not heard his footsteps. Her scalp was tingling, her heart was pounding in her chest. He stood behind her, she could feel his heat and feel his unique smell in her nose. It was warm and right in that moment. Softly his breath was behind her, but quickly. Like hers. Her skin on her arm was tingling even before he let his fingers fly lightly over her forearm. Rustling. His other hand touched her lightly through the fabric of her dress at her waist. Charlotte felt her knees give way briefly as his grip tightened.

He then drove disturbingly slowly with his fingernails over her arm and she had to gasp for air as it felt dangerous and yet so good. She was ashamed of the thoughts that filled her mind. But she wanted more. 

Charlotte twitched. But she didn't break away from him, even more he had the impression she leaned more towards him. He was aware of the situation, if they were caught... Yet he couldn't help himself, he wanted to trace the line of her neck. No, not wanted. He has to do it. He was meant to do it. There was a deep urge in him to touch her. He had longed for it for far too long for him to stop now.

As slowly as he could, so not to frighten her, he let his finger, just the one, go over the sleeve of her dress. How he longed to feel her skin. But it satisfied him to see her tremble. How would she react if it was her naked skin? Finally, he had reached her shoulder. The slight roar of his head made him superconscious of what he was doing. He fiddle at the edge of her cleavage. He gave her time to take a step away from him. But she did not. Her shoulders were tense, she was still trembling slightly, the warmth of her body radiating through him.   
She was like the sun.

When his index finger finally touched her soft skin on her shoulder Charlotte felt a feeling of relief. As if his touch was the cure for all the tension in her body. She was aware that she had suffered from not feeling his hand on her since she had left the house. She had no idea what that said about her. What would it do to her reputation if they were seen doing this?

But at that moment she didn't care. 

She just wanted to ... feel. The tingling took over her body. She had an unknown feeling inside of her. It was nothing she had known before. Before him. Perhaps to compare with ... hunger ... no, more like appetite. Appetite for a special treat. Yes, that it was.   
Trapped as she was, she forgot everything around her. She closed her eyes while his finger ran across her shoulder and up to her neck. There he lingered, she heard him let out a trembling breath and the feeling of equality permeated her. Apparently he felt similar. As his finger now moved up her neck, she dropped her head a little to the side.

Sidney was reminiscent of a cat that leaned into the strokes and moved so that you always knew exactly what it wanted next. The urge to kiss Charlotte's neck was so strong at that moment, he had to take a few breaths to stop it. He knew what he was doing was dangerous. But it would be even more dangerous to kiss her. Up to her ear, he let his finger swipe, and then he drew small circles on the back of her neck, hidden under the fullness of her hair. As he now scratched the delicate skin there lightly with his fingernails, a soft moan escaped her. This sweet little sound wandered deep into his body and he let his arm sink before they were discovered.

Fluttering, her eyes opened confused and also a little disappointed, she looked again over her shoulder to him. He kept his eyes closed and it seemed as if he too had to collect himself. His other hand still at her waist, he pressed it lightly to make sure she was still there...

Moistening his lips, he opened his eyes and looked at her. The look said more than a thousand words.  
"what are you doing?" she asked softly.  
Neither of them knew whether she meant 'what are you doing, stop it!' or 'why are you stopping?’  
Sidney chose the latter and replied to her in a whisper.

"I'll control myself." 

Her eyes widened, he was suddenly no longer sure whether it was a good idea to make her aware of her sensuality in this way. He would die trying. He could hardly stand up straight anymore, as she made his knees soften and this look promised him more than she seemed to be aware of. She was a witch. A seductively innocent, dangerously sensual little witch.

If they were alone in the house, he would have pressed her against the wall at that moment and kissed her senselessly. He wished he could take her in his arms and carry her up the stairs to his room. Oh, things he wanted to show her. The things he would show her, when she would let him. What she could do to him...

Embarrassed he bit his lower lip, it was unbearable how his body reacted to her and without another word he turned around and left the house.


	8. drop of water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the last encounter Charlotte needed to cool down, but then....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you once again for the nice comments and kudos.  
Hope you enjoy!

Charlotte was disappointed about his sudden disappearance, but could understand it after a while. They could be discovered at any time. And what would happen then? She could no longer breathe. This heavy air that lay over them. His caressing made this urge in her even more unbearable. It almost hurt. This pressure and this pulling. She had so many questions and he had answered none. Only more questions had been raised in her. She was breathing more and more heavily, she had to get out of here. 

She picked up her coat and put on bonnet while she went out too. On the left was the hotel, she wanted to avoid it and ran in the other direction. She took a detour to get down to the beach. There she had the feeling she could finally breathe properly again. Her thoughts whirled around in her head. So many impressions. His eyes. So dark and warm. Lovely. His hands, those tender touches that set her body afire. She wanted more. The thought of it made her body react, like it had done since the cove, whenever she thought of him. The only thing that helped was cold.

So Charlotte overcame herself and went over to the bathing machines, she paid and was drawn to the water. When she had changed, she wished she could bathe naked like Sidney. The robe was so heavy, it sucked her down. Although that was all right. She let herself be pulled down. Weightless. All forgotten. Of course, she resurfaced, and soon her time was up. As she dried off, her thoughts wandered back to her encounter with Sidney. Shaking her head, she tried to shake off the thought of him.

When she arrived at Trafalgar House, she felt nothing of the fresh. Suddenly she felt infinitely tired. Mary also asked her if she was unwell and if she might even have a fever. Charlotte immediately denied this, but then apologized for the rest of the evening when she saw Sidney coming out of Tom's study with Tom.

Sidney had a guilty conscience. Probably he was the trigger for her behaviour, he had certainly taken it too far and then he had left without any further explanation. Since Tom fortunately had the great idea to go to the beach with his children and wife, Sidney stayed behind alone, supposedly to do some paperwork.

But no sooner were his brother and his family out of the house than he ran up the stairs. He took two steps at once. He had the deep urge to explain himself to her. In front of her door, however, his courage left him for a moment, he thought about whether he should really do it or whether it wasn't too dangerous now that nobody was at home.  
He knocked on her door. A part of him wished she would sleep and not open it for him, but of course the door was slowly opened at that very moment. Her eyes widened, she probably hadn't expected him.

Her hair, still damp, lay close to her head. He spotted a drop that slowly rolled down her forehead. He resisted the urge to wipe it away and followed the drop with his gaze. Over her blushed cheek, like a tear, he didn't want her to cry over him ever. His fingers were tingling, he wanted to touch her. The drop continued to run down and as she leaned her head to the side, as if she was asking him what he were doing here. The drop rolled down her long neck. Sidney's thoughts drifted away, he wished he could follow the drop. It came to rest against her collarbone and he took a deep breath. His gaze wandered all the way back and was sucked into her eyes. Though he lost himself in it, he raised his hand and touched her cheek tentatively.

She gasped for breath. Tenderly, he let his fingers run across the side of her face. Charlotte closed her eyes and swallowed hard as two fingers slid down her neck. And slowly, so slowly, came to rest on her collarbone. With his thumb he caressed her so light as a feather she could hardly feel it. Wiping away the drop by following her collarbone to her shoulder. There he remained for a moment. Her breath was fast, she swayed a little and he too felt a little dizzy. 

It was a warm sensation that moved up his arm and spread throughout his body. Sidney grabbed her shoulder a little harder. Her breath shivered and she continued to breathe with her mouth open. It shone seductively and the need to kiss her was so strong that he moved one step closer to her. But something held him back. It was too much. His fingers moved gossamer-like down her arm. She was wearing a short-sleeved dress and her cool skin was covered with goose bumps. He did this to her.

A feeling of pride swam briefly through him, for she made him be patient. He wanted to savour every second of her awakening, even though he might just disappear from time to time.  
"Charlotte," he whispered as he took her hand in his.   
The other clasped the doorway.  
"Hmm?" her dreamy voice made him smile, enjoying the tenderness as he enjoyed it.

She felt him take her hand and intertwine her fingers very slightly. And then he increased the pressure and her palms pressed together. An exciting vibrating feeling permeated her whole being. She moaned, but she couldn't help it. Her hand also reached for the door frame to stabilize herself.

Suddenly there was something warm and soft on her skin and that made her open her eyes again. Without her noticing, Sidney had brought her hand to his mouth and was now kissing the palm of her hand, with such a deep look that Charlotte was sure he was not only kissing her hands so gently. At that thought, a little whiny sound escaped her that she could not suppress.

Sidney couldn't do anything about it, but when she made that magical little sound, so many feelings flooded through him that he could hardly name them. Male pride that he could make her do it. He wanted more of that little sound. Once more he kissed the warm skin of her palm and then it was like an unknown ... greed for more. His lips moved to her fingers and lovingly kissed each one, so slowly that it seemed as if time had frozen. 

At the sight of her fingers on his mouth, her mouth suddenly became dry. Her breath faltered as he let his mouth move back to the palm of her hand. It was intoxicating and her lips tingle.

"How does it feel?"   
Sidney slowly let his mouth move to her pulse and sipped at the tender skin there. Once. Their eyes met. Twice. Her eyes fluttered, her breath was intermittent. Three. The heat inside her was so consuming she wanted to jump into cold water again. Four. His gaze bored into hers. As if he really expected an answer.

He looked directly into her soul as he licked carefully over the pulsepoint and blew gently over it. At that moment her heart stopped. She clasped the door frame, her knuckles coming out white. With huge eyes she stared at him.   
Oh God! She saw him kneeling in front of her again down at the cove. Her naked leg between them. His hands on her untouched skin. His look. His lips. The heat inside her became overwhelming.

"Are you all right?" he asked with a slight smile.   
Charlotte shook her head.  
"I guess I'll have to do it again," and he did it again. And again.   
Charlotte made these sounds and started shaking. He was afraid he'd gone too far and slowly let her hands go down again and tried to get his fingers off hers. But she was the one who strengthened the grip now. 

"Charlotte."  
"You can't..." she whispered.  
"What?" His breath was intermittent, like hers.   
"You can't.....leave me like this." she stuttered and opened her eyes. 

Those big brown eyes were looking right through him. And yet this pleading expression triggered something animal-like in him. He bit the inside of his cheek to resist the urge to push her into her room.

"Sidney!" she whispered in such a seductively husky tone that he almost did. He squeezed her fingers and grudgingly lowered his eyes from Charlotte.   
"Hmm?"  
"I have ... a problem," she calmly explained.  
'Me too,' Sidney thought, and almost said so, but he was the experienced one, he had to stand by her. But seriously, he thought someone should stand by him, otherwise he would weaken and seduce her after all.  
"With what?" he asked and looked at her again.  
"I don't know ... I don't know ..." her voice broke and he almost believed that she would start to cry.  
"Yes." he nodded vehemently. He knew exactly what she was going through.  
"I have so many questions."  
"I know, I know,..." he ran his hand, which was on the doorframe, through his hair and then looked at her with a mischievous smile.  
"I, erm..." he cleared his throat "I know I promised to answer you..."  
"But?" there was a disappointed tone in her voice, he was sure of that.  
"But" he chuckled briefly and looked up at the ceiling, "but I can't think straight right now."

Charlotte also laughed for a moment and gathered all her courage and asked  
"Right now?"  
An honest little laugh escaped him.  
"In the moments with you."  
Their eyes met again and in this moment it was clear to both of them that this was not only about mutual physical attraction. It was about so much more. Sidney's heart swelled and his honest smile caressed her uncertain despair.  
"May I then..." now it was Charlotte who had to clear her throat, "may I then... write down my questions?"

Oh, she was so smart. On the idea of answering her questions in writing was brilliant. Not only could he then take his time to find the right words not to frighten her, he could also think more about what he would do next. And it was certainly also... interesting to read their words and her feelings. Maybe she could also explain more openly than if she was forced to do it to his face.

Sidney smiled his crooked smile and Charlotte's knee gave way noticeably, and although his hand shot forward immediately, he held back from touching her. Her hands were still knotted and it was such an overwhelming feeling that he couldn't imagine anything else right now.

"Write everything down," he said, pulling her hand to his mouth again, pressing his lips warm and soft, but much too briefly on the back of her hand.   
"Thank you." she breathed.

Sidney clenched his jaws together, what she could do with a little word like that, she didn't realize.   
But he was sure she would be his undoing.


	9. answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte share her questions with Sidney...only a few of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I hit the right note...

’Dear Mr. Parker,’  
no, she can't write that...  
’Dear Sidney...’  
oh god no, no not that either, that would be too intimate....well... after all that's happened?

Charlotte wasn't so sure anymore if it was a good idea to ask questions, well to have questions at all. But she wanted answers, and he wanted to give them to her...maybe just make a list, not write a letter? Start with the easy questions first, or in order? Or the most urgent first?

Nervously she picked up her favourite book. An old book, already quite dilapidated. The leather was torn in several places. The pages were thin and yellowed. It had once belonged to her grandmother, she had sent herself little love messages with her fiancé in it. At this memory, her heart started to beat so fast that she could see it making her chest vibrate.

She opened the book on the last page and wrote down as small as possible what things were flying around in her head. But as soon as she closed her eyes to concentrate, the images and feelings overwhelmed her.

The cove, his body, his mouth on her fingers, his hands on her thigh, he kneels before her. His finger that wanders up her arm. His face so close, she smelled his scent. Whispering. Fingers on her clavicle. His hand on her face. Those lips, did he want to kiss her? His eyes.

Charlotte tore open her eyes and ran her hand through her hair. All right. Take three breaths. She read through the things she had written down and decided she couldn't ask this questions. At least not in her first letter to him. No. A list. Yes.  
Who knows how he answers them? Maybe he had questions, too? They hadn't figured out how to give him the questions either. Slide it under the door? Push them into his hand? 

Charlotte picked up a new piece of paper and wrote down her first question with a beating heart.

'why were you angry with me?' because he had always looked at her as if she had done something wrong.  
’what was going through your mind as you stood outside the hotel?’

Now came the exciting questions,  
’do you think of me?’  
’How am I confusing you?’  
’Why did you put my stockings on?’  
’What were you thinking at the window that night?’

So she filled the whole sheet and was about to continue writing on the back side when she realized that there were quite a lot of questions and also quite...intimate.   
She should organize her questions, otherwise it would be over much too fast. At this thought she had to grin. How indecent. She shook her head and creased the paper at the place under the third question, laid it carefully on the edge of the table and carefully tore off the lower part of it. Glad that the paper had remained intact.

After folding it and blowing out the candle, she straighten her shoulders and left the room. Since they hadn't decided when to give him the questions, she hid the paper in her neckline and went into the dining room.   
Everyone had already gathered there, but was still standing around loosely in the room. When their eyes met, she felt as if Sidney knew all her most intimate questions hidden in her book. He smiled briefly and then came closer.

"And?" he asked in a deep voice.  
"I erm...here."   
Sidney's eyes almost fell out of his head as he followed her hand with his gaze and she reached straight into the neckline and pulled out a small folded letter. He had to swallow before he accepted it and stared at the piece of paper wordlessly. As their fingertips touched briefly, both looked up and found their gaze and lost themselves in it.

Sidney saw her blushing cheeks and the urge to touch her was so strong that he already reached out to her. Fortunately, Mary called Charlotte at that moment and the spell was broken. Nevertheless, he could not help but hold the letter to his nose and briefly absorb her scent. Lemon and something heavy... maybe sandalwood?  
Oh, how could he survive dinner when he was melting with curiosity. He wondered what she had written. 

This question occupied him so much that he not only rarely took part in the conversation, he also forgot what was being said. However, he was always aware of what Charlotte was saying. His eyes were glued to her mouth. When she didn't speak, his look would wander across her face, sometimes their eyes meet and in the light of the fire and the candles she always looked very alive even when she just sat there quietly.

Shyly she looked over to him, she saw that he was about to jump. She could see the tension in his muscles through the fabric of his shirt. Oh, how she would have loved to see those muscles again unclothed!   
As soon as the food was worn off, he would say an apology and leave immediately. Maybe the questions were not the right ones, should she have given him others or even more?

No sooner had the cue been said than he got up and followed Tom out. 

While the men were still going into the salon, Sidney pulled the letter out of his breast pocket and unfolded it. Yes lemon and sandalwoodIt, he was sure...   
It was only a small letter. No title. Just three questions. Slightly disappointed, he read it through several times. Only when the ladies followed and he saw Charlotte's blushing face and how she nervously chewed on her lower lip, did he realize that it must have cost her quite a lot.

It was not easy to have feelings at all. Leave alone talk about feelings, even in writing.

She sat down on the sofa and started reading a book again, as tense as she looked he didn't think she would get any further than last time.

He sat on one of the chairs diagonally beside her. Mary went up to check on the children again and reminded Tom to say good night as well.   
"In a minute, Mary. I just need to..."   
Tom was looking for something at his desk and Charlotte was about to jump up to stop him from doing the mess he was making again, but Sidney gently held her back.

Charlotte swallowed because his face was so close, his hand on her arm and his gaze kept wandering from her eyes to her mouth. After he cleared his throat, he answered her questions.

"I was never angry with you. Just worried."  
"Wh..."  
"That's what I was thinking about outside the hotel. Worry about how you're doing with what I did. What I had done was..." he left the sentence hanging in midair unfinished and Charlotte lowered her eyes. She nodded and in a low voice he continued,  
"and... erm, how good it felt."  
She sucked in the air loudly, blushed all the more and slowly raised her gaze to his eyes. He seemed serious. No joke in his eyes, just a shy smile.

Tom, once again completely unaware of his surroundings, talked to himself and then went after his wife and left the two of them alone together without seeing what was obvious.

"To answer your third question", he cleared his throat briefly and looked around the room, only now he noticed that Tom had left. The realization both frightened and delighted him.  
"even before that... I thought of you..." Charlotte seemed surprised,  
"but now I..." he looked at her and she seemed to expect a very different answer.  
"I can't think about anything else but you."

And suddenly there were only the two of them. Not just in this room. Everywhere.

Charlotte looked at Sidney, the heat from the fireplace wafting through the room and his hand on her forearm hadn't moved an inch.   
"Can I ask you something?"   
She nodded silently, still completely dizzy over his statement.  
"Do you like that?" he asked in a husky voice and began to draw small patterns on her skin. The sensational feeling crawled through her whole body and her breath became faster. She nodded.  
"Ask what you really want to know." His voice was calm. He pushed the paper back into his breast pocket and didn't think she would do it right away.  
"Do you like that, too?" she asked hastily before her courage left her again and she stared at her book in her lap.  
"Yes...yes...very much." he whispered.  
"How does it feel?" her voice just a hint.

He stared at her in disbelief and before he could answer they heard Tom and Mary come back. He got up and turned to walk, but then leaned so close to her again that she could have groaned at the mere feeling of his voice on her skin. She bit her lip, but when he murmurred in her ear, she couldn't help but let out a little whimper.  
"So good I always want more."

He turned to the liqueurs that were set up on the left next to the fireplace and filled four glasses with brandy. He handed it wordlessly to Tom and Mary, who again sat down next to Charlotte with her embroidery. Tom talked to himself and walked up and down gesticulating in front of the fireplace. Sidney turned to Charlotte and handed the brandy to her too, she looked at him with her big doe eyes. Her eyes!   
Sidney didn’t thought he'd ever get used to it.

"That's comforting." he whispered and she accepted the glass without averting her gaze.   
Although he noticed that her hand was shaking slightly, she seemed otherwise very calm.   
He nodded to her briefly and then went to the desk, sat down and started writing something.  
Everyone was so busy with their own tasks that neither Mary nor Tom asked in surprise what he was doing. Only Charlotte looked at him over her shoulder and a knowing expression flitted across her face. She bit her lip so as not to grin. Oh, he would ask her some questions, too. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, just thinking he wanted to know what was going on inside her, the warmth spread from her stomach all over her body.

When it was time to go to sleep, everyone was so tired that hardly a word was spoken. Mary asked Sidney if he would like to sleep in his room that night, since his friends had left. Worried about what Charlotte might think of it, he searched for her eyes. But instead of being alarmed, she smiled her beautiful honest smile.

Sidney was the last to leave in the salon and watched Charlotte disappear up the stairs. He went through his letter or better his questions again, hoping that she would not get angry with him. He nodded to himself and slowly went up the stairs, stopping at her door. Soft rustling and splashing of water made him think she was just getting ready for the night and he could only hope she found the letter before the maid did the next morning.

He bent down and slipped the letter under her door. Immediately he heard softly footsteps. Rustling. A deep breath. Rustling again. Maybe she just opened the folded paper. 

His heart was beating fast, the murmur in his head misted him up and he stared at the door and imagined her standing behind it. Was she already wearing her nightgown, or still wearing her dress? Were her cheeks flushed after she had read his questions?

’Dearest Charlotte.’

Charlotte stood still and held his letter in her hand. The questions. The answers.

’do you think of me?’

The feelings inside her were so overwhelming that she thought she would never be able to think anything else. 

’do you dream of me?’

She stared at the door and thought she could feel him standing behind it. His outline lay on her retina and she slowly moved closer and touched the door. The cool wood under her hand did her good and she also leaned her forehead against it. She thought she was closer to him than she had ever been before.

’do you long for me?’

Sidney leaned his forehead against the cool wood and his big hand was at the height of his shoulder. How desperately he wished this barrier was not between them.

’as I do?’


	10. In the still of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the still of the night...Charlotte found herself again in Toms study, but not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while, cause of the challenge, but now here a new one of this little story....

Charlotte couldn't sleep. The power of his words wouldn't allow it.   
His questions were the same ones she dared not ask, and he had answered her unasked question by writing.   
"As I do?"

So he thought about her and dreamed about her and longed for her? How was that possible? That he felt that way about her? He was attracted to her? That way...she was to him?  
She always want to be close to him. Oh, how she longed for him! The feeling of his hands on her skin. The realization of what it all meant was no surprise. It wasn't a clap of thunder either. It was the simple truth: she was in love with Sidney Parker.

No sooner had she thought his name than her heart rumbled and beat low and slow a few times before it started beating faster again. She was so warm that she pushed the blanket off her bed and stood up. She walked to the window and put her cheek against the cool glass, like every night. An inner restlessness seized her and she walked up and down her room until she couldn't stand it anymore and had to make her nightly rounds around the house.

She put on her robe, tied the ribbons around her waist and opened the door. She crept down the stairs and began her way through Tom's study. There was still a small fire crackling in the fireplace, making the room glow in an orange-brown tone. She looked at the Sanditon model and followed with her fingers where she had her encounters with Sidney. On the way to Lady Denham, on the other side were the assembling rooms are, where they had danced together. She wondered if they would ever do that again. Then in the streets, every encounter, every little look had burned into her memory. Then there at the cove.

She gasped for breath as all the feelings in her body were awakening again. She closed her eyes, her hands clung to the table. A pleasant warmth settled over her back. She imagined Sidney standing behind her, embracing her. ...with his strong long arms wrapped tightly around her waist. A breath of breath tickled her neck and the tenderness made the hairs on her neck stand up. How much she wanted his closeness. 

"Would you like me to touch you?"  
Slightly frightened, but not alarmed, she noticed him behind her. He did not touch her, but she felt his gaze on her. The warmth. It crawled into every fiber of her being.   
She nodded almost imperceptibly. Tentatively, he moved his arms around her center. Careful not to touch her anywhere else.

"Did you read my letter?" he whispered. His breath moved the hair on her temple.  
"Yes."  
"And what..."  
"Yes."

He swallowed audibly before he could ask any further, but he stopped, he just wanted to enjoy this intimate moment of holding her in his arms.  
They stood there with their eyes closed. He had to suppress the urge not to just turn her in jis arms and kiss her. But he could not help himself completely. He raised one hand and brushed her hair off her shoulder. Her robe was high-necked and completely covered her shoulder, so he had to touch her neck. He gently stroked her neck with his finger as he had done before. Very slowly. She shivered slightly and breathed with her mouth open. Sidney circled her ear with his finger as light as a feather. It tickled and she leaned closer to him, lost in thought. Her back was slightly pressed against his chest and it was the most beautiful feeling he had ever felt. He could stand like this forever. His heart was about to jump out of his chest as his two fingers lingered for a moment on the pulse point under her ear and he felt the throbbing vibration under his fingertips. Like the second hand of his pocket watch.

With his eyes closed he breathed her in, the scent of her silky hair and he wanted more. Sidney let his face gently slide down her cheek, very gently so as not to scratch her with his stubble. Instinctively she laid her head on his shoulder, exposing her tender neck even more. When his warm lips touched the spot where his fingers had been just a moment ago, she sucked in air trembling. A tender little kiss. No more. Sidney had to hold back, he knew what he was doing was dangerous. But he couldn't help himself. The urge to do it was too overwhelming. His lips lingered, as before, his fingers, until he could control himself a little more. Charlottes warm, delicate skin smelled so good. He never wanted to be anywhere else.

But when she seemed to press herself against him even more and made a little sighing sound, he just couldn't hold on anymore. Kissing that point again, he leaned on her more. It was as if a flame had been lit and the fire was now blazing in him. No more restraint. With his mouth open he kissed this spot, nibbled and sipped her earlobe and ran his tongue over the sensitive area underneath.

"Ahh" she hissed as if it caused her pain and he immediately let go of her and separated from her. Two steps.  
Her eyes fluttered open, she leaned on the table and tried to catch her breath. She was completely overwhelmed.  
"I'm sorry," he muttered.   
His voice full of unknown emotions. He thought he had been in love before. And he had already felt lust. But he had never known these feelings. Never had the pull inside him been so strong. His heart was beating so wildly and deeply. And being in love again was hard enough to accept, but what he felt for her went so much deeper. 

"Why do you say that?" she asked in a stifled voice.  
"I... erm... well... would not want to overwhelm you."  
"yes, it was overwhelming." she murmured, and a slight feeling of pride flooded through him.  
"yes, it was."   
Charlotte closed her eyes briefly and a slight smile played around her mouth.  
"what..." she started, but then bit her lips.  
"Please ask what you want to ask. Hold nothing back," he whispered.  
"what would happen if...?"  
"if what?" his heart was pounding in his neck, he could barely swallow enough around the lump that had formed in his throat.   
"If you wouldn't hold back?" 

Oh, damn it. She wasn't really asking that, was she? How could he answer that?  
She looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes were big and deep. He avoided her look and turned away and then walked around the table to create a barrier between them.

"I don't know. " he honestly admitted.  
He smiled at her embarrassed and then asked  
"I thought you had a thousand questions."  
"I did , but I just can't remember right now." embarrassed, she looked at her hands still clutching the table and finally let go. 

"so do I." he quietly admitted.  
"really?" with her big eyes she stared at him in disbelief.  
"yes, I..." he ran his hand through his hair "forget me around you."  
Charlotte kept looking at him.  
"I yell at you, forget my good upbringing. I..." he pointed at her and she knew what he meant. "I mean I... am so full of ... I don't know."  
"So, maybe we're both lost?"  
"yes, I certainly am." he smiled.   
Charlotte smiled too and then Sidney had calmed down so far and came around the table again.   
"we should go to sleep now."

She nodded and followed him out of the room. He stopped at her door. Charlotte walked in and then turned to him, still somehow unsure what was going on between them. Sidney smiled that irresistible smile, took her hand, led it to his mouth and pressed his lips on it.  
"Sleep now."  
"Alright." but she didn't want him to leave.  
"or...do you have a letter for me?"  
"I have." Charlotte nodded and walked to her desk, took the small book in hand and pulled out a small letter. Biting her lip, she gave it to him.  
"Maybe we could go on a little walk tomorrow? " his voice barely audible.   
"Yes." Her beautiful smile!  
"and maybe..." he begann hesitantly "read it together?"   
Speechless she nodded.  
He smiled and bowed his head as he turned to go.


	11. in the dunes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney go for a walk and her latest letter is opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also here we come near our final destination...

Charlotte could not fall asleep at first because her heart was pounding so wildly in her chest. What he had done to her neck gave her goose bumps all over her body. Oh, would it always be like this between them? What would happen on the walk tomorrow?  
She tried to remember her questions and finally fell asleep.

Sidney sat in his room and wondered whether he should open the letter and read her questions, or whether it would be better to wait until tomorrow and open the letter with her. That would make his answers more spontaneous.

The most important thing is that these answers would not frighten her. He ran his hands over his face. He can't believe what he'd done! Kissing her neck! Had he gone mad? If anyone had come in! Her reputation. It wasn't right. He couldn't let himself go like that when he was with her. She touched something deep inside him. When he thought of her and saw her, his heart contracted, but in a pleasing way. When he was near her, he wanted to be even closer. Closer and closer. He had to touch her, it was a need like breathing. And as soon as he did, he forgot everything around him. Every little touch was a firework. 

So it was a good idea to be with her in public tomorrow. At least that would prevent him from doing anything stupid. 

When he was in Tom's study the next day, she came in with Mary and he choked briefly on his tea. She was gorgeous. Her hair was shiny and soft today. She had pinned it up at the sides and a slight blush appeared on her face as their eyes met. Her bright dress with little red flowers on it underlined the whole thing.

"Sidney!" cried Mary and greeted him kindly.  
"Miss Heywood."  
"Mr. Parker."  
"So, erm...would you like to go now or would you rather later?"  
"now." she interrupted him and he couldn't help but smile a little.  
"Here you go, you two." Mary shook her head at them.

When they had gone for a while, they arrived at the beach and walked in the opposite direction of the bathing machines. 

"So..." Sidney turned around to make sure that no one was near them and then pulled out the unopened letter. Embarrassed, Charlotte bit her lips and waited for him to open it.

This time the little letter was with his name on it, but no 'dear ' in front of it. It felt like a cold stick pressing into his heart, and he briefly pulled his face in that stabbing pain. Since her eyes were directed forward, she did not see how his features slipped away from him. He cleared his throat and then began to read.

"Why is there a pull in my belly?"

He looked at her and she blushed even more. If he hadn't been disappointed in some way, he'd have been glad about that fact. 

"in the belly?" he laughed for a blink of an eye.  
"Is this just a game to you, Mr. Parker?" she asked seriously and stopped.

Surprised by her, he stopped, too.  
"No, of course not."  
"Then why are you laughing?"  
"Because you write in your belly."  
"It pulls here." she put her hand on her middle and tears sparkled in her eyes.   
Oh, he didn't want that. He didn't want her to be insecure or sad or angry. Although that was his favorite thing. He loved her fire.

"Charlotte"... her name on his lips, he reached for her. He didn't mean to, but somehow his hand did it on its own.  
"Here." She took his hand and pushed it where her hand had been a moment ago. Under the many layers of clothing, he could feel her, her warmth. His heart stopped beating and then continued to beat wildly, sensing the sensation of her hand on his.  
"When?" he whispered. He wanted to know exactly.

Charlotte opened her eyes and looked at him. Suddenly aware of what she was doing, she let go of his hand and he pulled it away immediately.  
"It's always there."  
Sidney didn't want to interrupt her and waited.  
"Ever since that day at the cove," she looked out to sea.  
"It's... it's stronger and weaker."  
Their eyes met just before she looked away again.  
"It's almost as if I get sick... when I'm just... when I'm alone."  
"Charlotte."  
"And it hurts no... pulls more if you... if you do something like you did yesterday..." her voice was hardly a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, he took a step towards her, but she turned and kept walking along the waterline and he went after her in silence. Charlotte wanted to hide her face, so she walked a little faster.  
"Wait," he grabbed her arm slightly, but only stroked his fingers along the sleeve of her coat. She stopped, but did not turn around.

"I think... I call it longing." he whispered and she let out a soft sigh.  
"Alright." she said and walked on without turning around.  
Sidney ran after her and asked her not to go so fast.  
"Should I go on?"  
"Yes."

Sidney looked at the paper again and he stopped because he found the question incredible.  
"what would you most like to do?"  
Charlotte was getting faster and faster, probably it wasn't such a good idea to ask the questions personally after all.   
"Wait. Wait. Wait." he shouted after her and he wondered how someone so small could run so fast. But of course it didn't take long and he had caught up with her.  
"Now wait. Please."

She suddenly stopped and he saw that she was trembling with tension. He could not make a mistake now.

"I would like to take you in my arms. Lie down with you over there in the dunes and stare at the sky. I would..."  
Charlotte turned to smile at him   
„Really?“  
He nodded and then she ran into the dunes and disappeared between the tall seaweed. Worried, Sidney turned in all directions to make sure they were protected from prying eyes and followed her slowly. 

Charlotte let the warm sand slip through her fingers and waited until he had followed and sat down next to her. He did nothing but put his hand in such a way that it was sprinkled by the sand. For quite a while they sat there like that until his hand had almost disappeared under the sand. Smiling, he looked out to the sea and took a deep breath. It was so pleasant to sit there with her like that. Of course his heart was beating wildly and her closeness worried him somehow. Because if they were found like that, there would certainly be a scandal.

Just as he was about to address this, her fingers touched his hand and gently wiped the sand from the back of it. It felt so good, he closed his eyes. When Charlotte noticed this, her movements slowed down and she remembered his fingers stroking her hand and she tried to imitate him. From his wrist to his fingertips, she let her fingers flutter light as a feather over his large, slightly rough hand. There and back again. Her fingertips slid over his knuckles, her fingernails scratched lightly over the back of his hand. She heard with satisfaction that he inhaled deeply. Penetrated by sudden insolence, she let her fingers run over his and when she pulled her fingers back again, she pressed between his and he made a hissing sound. Slowly she intertwined her fingers with his and watched as a magical smile appeared on his face. Then, as she brought his hand to her mouth and pressed her lips to his palm, he let out his breath.

With huge pupils he stared at her in amazement. A light smile on his slightly open lips. Charlotte then slowly laid down on her back, and because their hands were still united, he was forced to laid down too. Their faces were turned towards each other. The wind was blowing a little wildly, and the sand was tingling and prickling on their skins. Reluctantly they closed their eyes to keep the sand out.

It was not long before she heard his calm breath. She couldn't tell if he had fallen asleep or was just resting, but he looked so beautiful and relaxed that she just couldn't resist stroking his face with her free hand. Tenderly she embraced his cheek. He smiled. With her fingertips she slowly ran her hand over his nose. Over his eyebrows. Like a breeze her fingers flew over his eyelids and he let out a pleasant sound. Charlotte couldn't help herself and sat up and let go of his hand. Sidney's eyes remained closed and she stroked his face so delicately that his stubble felt almost soft.

Every time she touched him, he leaned in, it felt so incredibly good. But as she ran her fingernails across his forehead right along his hairline, he gasped for breath and his almost black eyes stared at her. Their eyes locked and Sidney's gaze wandered briefly to her lips and then back to her eyes.

"That felt incredible." he muttered, his heart pounded wildly in his chest.  
She nodded slightly embarrassed and then let her hand slip away from his face.   
"is this what it feels like?" she reluctantly began her question...  
"what?" his smile was so stunning, she had to take her eyes off him.  
"to have fallen in love?" she whispered.

And in that moment, he gasped for breath. He almost forgot to keep breathing. Had she really asked that? How could she still doubt? Was it because she had never been in love before? 

Oh Lord! He thought he could jump up and dance for joy and yet he could not move.

Since he did not answer, that was answer enough for Charlotte and she stood up. She tapped out her dress and turned to walk.  
"Yes," he whispered, and then he was standing next to her. They smiled at each other and Sidney, summoning all his courage to ask the next question, when he tried to grab her hand, they were rudely interrupted.

"Uncle Sidney!" cried Jenny and ran straight into his arms.

Mary and the children had come to the beach and brought them back to reality. Mary didn't say anything, though she could imagine that they hadn't exactly been fighting. They slowly strolled along side by side until they arrived back at Trafalgar House. Mary involved Sidney in a conversation and Charlotte went to her room until it was time to come down for dinner. 

The meal went on without any further words between the two of them, but Mary noticed the looks the two of them gave each other. The letter he had secretly slipped her before dinner was pressed to her breast, close to her heart, and she distorted herself to read it. When Mary put the children to bed and Charlotte disappeared into her room to get a book, he did not wait long to follow her. 

Her last question in his mind, he followed her.  
"How does it feel to be kissed?" Oh, he was desperate to show her.

Her door was open and he could see how she grabbed her neckline and pulled out the letter. Before she opened it, she kissed it. This magical gesture made him gasp. Somewhat surprised to see him standing at the door, she accidentally dropped her little book on her desk and many small pressed flowers fell out. Without thinking about it, he rushed to her side and started to help her pick them up. Lost in the gaze of the other, their hands put the flowers together until he lowered his eyes so as not to pull her to him and kiss her.

"What is this?" he asked, pulling the book towards him.  
"This was my grandmother's," she cleared her throat, "she had written little messages with my grandfather in it."   
"What a lovely idea." He flipped through the pages lost in thought until he reached the last page. He glanced over the page and if Charlotte really believed what she saw, she would have to admit that Sidney Parker blushed. ... just as she did herself.

"Charlotte?" his voice rough.  
"Yes?" She closed her eyes out of embarrassment, now he had read all her most intimate questions.  
"If you want me to answer all these questions", his voice has become even darker.  
"Yes?" she breathed, her heart pounding up to her neck.  
"then you must become my wife."


	12. full of hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his last words, Sidney seemed befuddled like Charlotte.  
Because this was not the plan.

Both stared at each other in shock. 

Oh! Oh, no! So he didn't want to ask the question of all questions. He did have a plan, he had it all figured out! Tomorrow the sky should be clear. No clouds. Sidney opened his mouth to say something, but then stared in embarrassment at his hands, which almost touched hers.

Charlotte's heart was pounding, she hoped he would ask her, she couldn't stand the unspoken promise between them. But it was a little surprising. The sand from before on the beach still tickled her scalp.

"I just...I would...I..." he stuttered, but before he could form a clear thought, they heard a startled gasp from the door.

"Sidney!" cried Mary. Her eyes wide open.

She hadn't said anything earlier on the beach, but he wasn't allowed to sit on the floor in Charlotte's room. Alone. She couldn't not approve that. Charlotte jumped up immediately.

"Mary!" she cried and her cheeks were burning.  
"I just..." Sidney pointed to the book, put it in Charlotte's hands after he got up. They looked at each other and there was so much feeling in his eyes that it started to tingle in her stomach. Mary cleared her throat until Sidney turned around.

„Yes,...well, I ahh...will go.“

he pointed to the door and walked out of the room. At the doorframe he turned back to Charlotte and glanced briefly at his letter before he disappeared. Charlotte still felt the heat in her cheeks and gave Mary a embarrassed look. 

"Charlotte."  
"Yes, Mary?"  
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked with a smile.  
"No, everything's fine." she smiled shyly.  
"All right. If you need me, I'm here for you."  
"Thank you, Mary."

In the parlor Sidney paced through the room until he heard Mary coming down the stairs.   
"Sidney!" She looked at him while shaking her head.  
"I know what you're going to say..." he tried to calm her down.  
"I could have been one of the servants!" she said with angry concern.  
"I know, but I..."  
"Her reputation!"  
"I know, Mary, ..."  
"What were you thinking?"  
"Not much, that's the problem..."  
"That's what it looks like!" She looked at him expectantly.

"I love her."

Mary's heart jumped. At last, her beloved brother, could love again!  
"Oh Sidney!" She embraced him with tears of joy in her eyes.  
"She is a treasure of gold."  
"I know."  
"Oh, did I interrupt you? Where you...?"  
"No, I... have something planned...."

Charlotte stood frozen in her room for quite a while after Mary disappeared. Her heart was still beating so hard in her chest that she sat down on her bed and tried to breathe calmly.   
He himself seemed surprised at his words, it was probably a thought that had crossed his lips accidentally. She wondered what he actually wanted to do. Did he perhaps want to answer her last question? In showing her?

Oh, so many feelings tickled and crawled through her body until it became so unbearably warm again. Charlotte undressed and got ready for the night, she did not manage to go downstairs anymore tonight. She was too excited. She wondered what his letter said.

She tasted the sweet agony of uncertainty until she lay down in her bed and slowly opened his letter with trembling fingers. Her heart was pounding so that she saw it bouncing under her skin as she looked down at herself.

"My dearest Charlotte," her heart lifted and she became very light.

"I would like to answer your last question, but I'm afraid I cannot put into words what it might feel like to kiss you."  
Charlotte had to catch her breath before she read on.

"Because I'm sure it'll be a whole new wonderful feeling, which I'll experience as newly as you will." His words gave her goose bumps in anticipation.

"Will you give me permission to show you?"   
Her heart was beating so fast, she was afraid to faint.

"Everything we've experienced in the days since the cove is also completely new to me."

Charlotte put the letter down briefly and let all her encounters and experiences take place before her inner eye. His hands on her thighs, his fingers on her hand and neck, and his mouth had kissed this spot under her ear, and his tongue over the sensitive area underneath. His beautiful body, with this white shirt blowed open by the wind. The drop of water, caught by is warm finger. His warm hand under hers. The feeling of touching his face. But the most incredible thing, his eyes. Dark and deep and full of hope.

A tingling sensation seized her in all parts of her body. Longing. When she had her breathing under control again, she read on.

"I have never had such confusing deep feelings." 

Charlotte held her breath. He often seemed as befuddled as she was. Sometimes as if his mind was watching what his body was doing.

"It is so much more, than to have fallen in love." tears of deep emotions tickled her eyes. 

"It's like you make me whole." Her breath faltered.  
"Charlotte, you are the single pice that was missing my whole life."   
Charlotte could barely stand all the feelings, she wiped away her tears before she read any more.

"Will you do give me the honor," now Charlotte sat up, she closed her eyes to collect herself, she did not dare to read any further. It was such a wonderful feeling what was flowing through her. Warmth.

"to come tomorrow after dinner back to where it all began?" 

Oh, she huffed a laugh, he kept suprising her. Similar to a release, this pressure and pulling in her stomach eased. Charlotte felt a sense of relief. She was free of doubt and filled with love.

"Don't be afraid, I will tell Mary to accompany you." Charlotte smiled.

"Sleep well, my dearest Charlotte." Then she kissed his words.

"I will keep dreaming of you and hope... "  
Charlotte pressed the letter to her heart, he was the most emotional and sensitive man, she thought.

"you will meet me down at the cove."


	13. three questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date down at the cove...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this little nugget of fluffy fluff helps through this hard times out there.

The whole day dragged on forever. It was one of those days when she looked at the watch after what felt like an eternity, but in reality it was only two minutes since she last looked at it. 

Frustrated, Charlotte groaned and put the book aside, which she had been trying to read for days, but could not get beyond the third chapter, as she was repeatedly distracted in thought or in person by a certain gentleman.

Mary looked at her amused over her embroidery and casually said  
"You have to be patient, there's still two hours."  
"Another two hours?" Charlotte seemed almost desperate.  
Mary shook her head in amusement and realized,  
"I have already brought dinner forward, as Sidney had asked me to", she put her embroidery aside and patted Charlotte's knee,  
"but maybe you should start looking for a dress that fits..." she left the sentence unfinished because Charlotte already jumped up and ran out of the room.

Normally, Charlotte didn't worry about her clothes. Every morning, depending on the weather and events, she would spontaneously decide what to wear. But today... In a small part of her brain, she knew or hoped what would or could happen today. Sidney would say what he accidentally said last night in other words. Or rather, ask her if....

Her heart was pounding violently in her chest at the thought. But she pushed it aside, because otherwise she would probably go to her date down at the cove naked, since she would forget her dress completely. At this thought she blushed and her imagination drifted to this certain gentleman again. What he had triggered in her! Through his touch and often only with a certain look. 

Would he finally kiss her today?

She longed for it so much, although she didn't know how it would feel. But she had already felt his lips on her skin and... Oh, now her mind flew to him again and...  
No! She had to keep a cool head and take care of a dress for now.

During dinner Charlotte sat in her chair like on hot coals. She slid back and forth, not taking part in the conversations and pushing the food back and forth disinterestedly. The wine got into her head a little and Mary reminded her to eat at least a bit,

"...or you'll have a weak stomach and..."  
"Yes, you're right...".

Sidney had a lot to do all day. He wanted it perfect. He wanted Charlotte to remember this and be just happy.  
Set up a tent in the green meadow above the cliff, not only to have Mary sit down and wait for them both, but to pick up Charlotte.  
He was a bit nervous, he had imagined the whole situation only with the two of them, but in reality he couldn’t do that. He hoped that Charlotte could enjoy it, even when Mary was watching from above.

Every few minutes he looked at his pocket watch and waited to see them coming. It was quite a way from Trafalgar house and he hoped Mary had stuck to the plan to eat earlier.  
As the sky slowly turned orange and turned into a vibrant purple on the horizon, he became quite tense. Nervously, he kept stroking his vest and then awaited their arrival in the next few minutes. 

He made the last moves with shaking fingers and slipped his jacket over his vest just in time when he saw them approaching. Mary then went into the tent without a word and just grazed his arm briefly, but he didn't really notice, as he only had eyes for Charlotte. In the last rays of the sun her skin looked golden and her hair shimmered slightly red. The fact that she was wearing the same dress and spencer as the day she met him here, thrilled him.

Their gazes were glued together.

When Charlotte put her hand in his, they both almost forgot they weren't alone. The urge to kiss her was almost overpowering, so he pulled her closer, but then remembered that Mary could watch them. He put Charlotte's arm around his and led her across the green meadow.

At first Charlotte had only eyes for Sidney, who made such a happy face that she hoped never to see anything else but his smile. But as they walked down the path in the evening sun, she noticed the many magical details.  
On the meadow there were torches that lined the way to the cove. He had placed small torches and candles at the beach and the most romantic thing was that a small raft floated at the spot in the water where they had met at that time. He had probably stolen it from the children, but the idea was simply too magical, as candles were also burning on it. Charlotte was overwhelmed by the effort he had put in. She looked up at him in awe.

"There you set my heart on fire."

he remarked as if it were not a declaration of love, but the most normal thing in the world. Charlotte, however, had to gasp for breath at the words and narrowed her grip on his arm. Tears glittered in her eyes. Completely enchanted by her, he couldn't control himself and stroked her face with his hand and wiped away the tear of happiness that had escaped her eyes with his thumb.

"Love you.“

He was not capable of more at the moment, as emotions threatened to overwhelm him. Closing his eyes briefly and then led her to the place where he had put her stockings on. Here, too, he had placed candles. A carpet, blankets and pillows, suggested that he had chosen this particular place for something special. Charlotte's heart was beating so wildly, it was almost unbearable. Part of her was ready to shout "Yes!" even though he hadn't even asked the question yet. She was impatient, but could control herself so far, because she realized how important it was for Sidney.

Trembling, he drew in the air and indicated to her to sit down. But before she did she leaned against him and whispered almost inaudibly quietly 

"love you too."

His heart rose in his chest and he felt lighter and more carefree than he had felt in so long. He couldn't remember if he had ever felt like that.

Sidney took now both her hands in his, stroked the back of them tenderly with his thumbs until both of them calmed down a little. He caught her gaze and slowly brought her hand to his mouth, stroking his lips lightly over the back of her hand without really touching her. Then he interlaced her fingers with his and pressed the palms of their hands together. It was such a simple yet intimate touch that Charlotte had to swallow. His gaze became even more intense as he slowly stroked his lips over her fingers, strengthening his grip. Her eyes fluttered. Just like her heart. She swayed slightly and bit her lip to suppress a groan.

Then he untwisted their fingers and kissed her palm. She thought she was already used to this sensation, but he kissed her hand with slightly open lips. Two times briefly once slowly and passionately and she was so dizzy that she had to hold on to his upper arm with her other hand. His lips moved further to her wrist and over the pulse, there he did the same. And Charlotte gasped loudly for air and then continued to breathe with her lips open. She closed her eyes as the cove seemed to spin around her. 

Her rapid breathing brought him to his senses, he stopped and waited till she opened her eyes again and then she finally sat down. Charlotte focused on his gaze which was so intense that his eyes were almost black. Then Sidney kneeled down in front of her, like at their first encounter here. 

"Ready for my three final questions?" his voice took on a strange scratchy tone. She was so nervous, his heart contracted by seeing it. Charlotte nodded excited. Sidneys baritone was slightly higher.

"Sure you endure me for the rest of my life?"  
"Yes." she smiled happily.  
"will you help me become your equal?"  
She was a bit taken aback by this question, he smirked and waited for her answer.  
"Y...yes."  
"so, you take me as your husband?"  
"Yes."

And before he even realised what happened, she touched his face tenderly and looked him deeply in his eyes. He leaned in her palm and kissed her wrist and his hot lips and his words burned into her brain.

Charlotte pulled her hand, not to take it away, but to bring him closer, she wanted urgently to be kissed by him. It really hurt not to be kissed right now. After his declaration of love and questions that was the only thing missing.  
Why doesn't he finally do it while they were still out of sight of Mary?

"My last question from yesterday..." her voice a husky whisper.  
"yes?" he asked innocently, as her eyes flickering to his lips as he quoted her in an amused voice  
"How does it feel to be kissed?"  
"hmmm" her eyes were almost half way closed.  
"you can answer yourself".

Irritated she opened her eyes again and their gazes glued together. They sank into the deep brown seas of their souls till they visions blurred and finally their lips touched, while in the sky above them the stars began to shine.


	14. down at the cove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are happening down at the cove...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again a story comes to an end and I hope you like the ending.  
I also hope that I do justice to whom, I dedicate this chapter to:
> 
> Mr. Sidney Parker

Unfortunately the next weeks were not so romantic. There was so much to do. Charlotte drove home and there she waited longingly for Sidney, who, after having contacted her father by letter, obtained the necessary papers to finally marry her in Willingden with her family. 

They spent the wedding night alone in the hotel in Sanditon, but Charlotte was so exhausted by all the events that she fell asleep in her husband's arms before they even reached their room. She was terribly ashamed to fell asleep in their wedding night, but Sidney assured her that they did not have to rush anything and had all the time in the world.

The construction of their house took longer than expected and as there were many visitors in Sanditon, they could only live in Trafalgar House under one roof with all the others. It was an ordeal. Every bit of togetherness was disturbed by someone. So it remained with furtive kisses, secret touches and longing looks.

"If I don’t see you alone soon..." 

Sidney whispered in her ear when he stopped her from going into the dining room where Mary was waiting with the tea.

"We're alone every night,"   
she whispered and, remembering the nights they spent together, she blushed and closed her eyes. How he cared for her. With his eyes and hands, slowly exploring her body.

"I don’t mean that, Mrs. Parker." 

he smirked into her skin, and she gasped in the air as he sucked tenderly on her soft skin under her right ear. He then kissed her neck slowly until she trembled with arousal, but before he could do what he wanted, he pulled her into the room and placed her on her chair. He slipped her a little letter and then looked at her with such an intense look that Charlotte thought her clothes were burning.

After a moment he said goodbye and walked out the house, to prepare the picnic he arranged for them. He also wanted a swim in the cold ocean, to clear his mind and cool down his body, before he could met her again.   
Sidney desired Charlotte with every fiber of his being, but he wanted them to meet in silence. To enjoy and savour her sensual awakening before he lost himself completely in her. Charlotte was capable of making him lose his mind. Every night when he came into their room, she lay in their bed like a precious gift. Temptingly sensual like a forbidden fruit, she awaited him. And each time he thought he was sullying her freshness and innocence by touching her. It was as if he was doing something forbidden, even though they were married now.

He often put the brakes on her brisk curiosity. He didn't want the whole house to know about their lovemaking. This belonged only to the two of them. But to be so close to her and yet not close enough was torture. Like all that time after they first met at the cove. His body was on fire and his mind had the most forbidden thoughts, so he had to take a bath in the cold sea, just like before the wedding.

Charlotte opened the letter, her cheeks were immediately glowing in anticipation of what he had planned for their secret meeting.   
When she arrived down at the cove, the feelings overwhelmed her. He had set everything up just as he had on the night of their engagement. Blankets and pillows, candles and torches, but they weren't lit yet. She scanned the place and saw his clothes at one edge of the blanket, beside the picnic basket. Her mind went blank. The heart in her chest hammered. Her gaze wandered over the sea. As her beautiful husband rose from the water like a deity from a Greek myth, she had to swallow.

The evening sun made every inch of his skin shimmer golden. His body, sculpted like by a master of art, radiated strength and calm as he slowly rise from the waters. Charlotte belived she never saw anything more perfect. He was breathtaking beautiful.

She had seen him naked. Or half naked. After all, they had been married for one week. But in the subdued light of their bedroom, when he lay beside her and she mainly kept her eyes closed with feelings when he caressed and kissed her, his sight was not as overwhelming as it was now. Besides, he had always worn trousers so far, so as not to destroy the exploration of both their bodies with wanting lust. Sidney said they should get to know each other slowly, even if it required a lot of willpower from both of them.

Suddenly he stood before her and smiled almost shyly. That wasn’t what he had planned, but the admiring look of his wife aroused him and he had to hold back not to grab her immediately. He had stopped a few steps in front of her, so that she could love him from head to toe with her look. Like a light touch, her eyes flew over his body and her breath went faster as he came closer. His cold fingers slightly touched her cheek before he slowly let it slide into her hair. He scratched over her scalp until she closed her eyes overwhelmed. His other arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. Sidney tried to be really patient. Only slightly he kissed her, but her reaction made it really hard.

Charlotte let her fingernails slide over his strong forearm to his biceps and clung to his shoulder while deepening the kiss. Her warm, thin hand caressed his side tenderly until he pulled her even tighter against him. The coolness of his skin in contrast to her warm fingers made him tremble as she stroked his back. And while their tongues lovingly played together, her hand slowly moved to one of his muscular buttocks. Until then she had only touched him there through his trousers. The smooth skin tightened briefly when she touched it and Sidney strengthened the hold around her waist. To feel this perfect curve under her fingers and to get a reaction from him in response to the light touch and the pressure she exerted was so overwhelming that Charlotte groaned briefly. Her husband felt the same as he could not move as she slowly put kisses across his neck until she reached the tender spot between neck and collarbone.

The salt of his skin lay on her tongue as she slowly arrived at the edge between the bones. Right under his throat. Her hand on his shoulder moved forward to his chest. Her fingers repainted every little indentation as if she herself was a sculptor who had created a divine figure and now searched his work for bumps. Sidney moaned softly in her ear as he pressed his head heavily against her temple. His breath tickled her cheek. The hand on his buttocks gripped a little harder as he pulled her closer. She felt him through all her layers of clothing.

Sidney then grabbed her more firmly and captured her mouth. The kiss was deep and had a touch of the forbidden. It was all consuming. Both breathed heavily and Charlotte whimpered softly into his mouth as he pressed their bodies so tightly together that nothing would have fit between them. 

Her hand moved on her own, over his firm chest. There she crawled the dark hair and scratched tenderly over the most sensitive part. Sidney caught his breath as she kissed the spot over his heart. With soft, tender lips she laid a burning path across his chest. Her hand slowly slid deeper and deeper, caressing him with loving movements over his firm belly and this strong muscle at his side. As she stroked her fingernails over it, he flinched briefly and pressed himself against her even harder. Charlotte could feel him pounding.

Only when her hand moved on and had reached the dark path did he let go of her a little. With her fingertips she followed the path of dark hair, which was still a little wet. She breathed heavily with excitement and he now held her face with both hands. He looked deep into her eyes and let her know that everything was alright, whatever she wanted to do. Her hand trailed over every inch of skin, she never touched before. 

With a soft groan he closed his eyes when she finally touched him where he had been longing for. At first she drove her fingers light and curious about this unknown part of him. Then she increased the pressure of her fingers. And Sindey was lost. 

He enjoyed the softness of her hand for a while, till he he grabbed her hand a bit roughly and pulled her closer. He put one hand on her back and pushed her into him. Charlotte hissed at this shocking movement. They kissed passionatly and Charlotte had to grip his shoulders, to not to fall. She was floating. Her eyes fluttered open, as he slowly pulled away from her.   
Somehow he had brought her to the blankets. In this moment, she knew. They both did. 

Both were out of breath. Their eyes glued together. Heavy, full of emotion were their eyes as he slowly knelt down and pulled her with him. Kneeling, they kissed each other. Tenderly, until Charlotte couldn't stand it any longer. Her whole body was on fire. It would implode if Sidney didn't do something about it. She whimpered softly as he kissed her neck and pressed his face into her neckline, causing her to lie down.

It was not the first time, he touched this delicate skin of her thighs. But it was here, the first time he did it. They lay intertwined, almost naked, every night in their bedchamber, but to take off her stockings, he was meant to do it, he was sure of it.

„May I?“

His husky voice send a shiver through her body. She was only able to nod, as he pushed up her skirts and let his fingers trail to the the silky material of the blue ribbon of her stockings.

"I have wished this since the first time we met here, my Love." he rumbled as he slowly rolled down her stocking and he placed his face on the white tender skin of her thigh and pressed thousand kisses on the delicate white skin, where the ribbon held her stocking.

And when the setting sun put a divine glow on his skin, and his eyes became dark like the starry night sky that followed, Charlotte took him in and they made love to the rhythm of the breaking waves, here down at the cove.


End file.
